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CELIAWITHCLUBINHAND
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Name: Austin
Birthday: 10/4/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: music: drums & tuba, johnny cash, black ox orkestar, black widows (or now black cross), jimmy buffet, botch, stretch arm strong, boy sets fire, every time i die, as i lay dying, unearth, relient k, cave=in, give up the ghost, coliseum, bad brains, robert randolph and the family band, strike anywhere, fall out boy, badly drawn boy, walls of jericho, bane, black heart procession, cops and robbers, the explosion, godspeed you black emperor!, mos def, kanye west, ink & dagger...
Expertise: drawing, painting, photoshop, animation, ninja-ing, biking, hiking, camping, photon-phaser vision, reading, and eating.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  betsyrosshotstuf
Member Since:
3/2/2005
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| If you have a dream do it. If you have a love pursue it. And if God has told you your mission accept it and never hold back! | | |
| Haven't posted in a while...so here we go...
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Lord,
tear down everything I've built.
snatch everything i hold, up from me.
tear away every article of clothing,
i use to cover the scars on my body.
and sink this boat i stand upon
to keep me afloat in these dark waters.
Lord,
i want cling to nothing. Nothing God!
things i once clung to, sank by my weight.
and, Lord, i drowned.
i drowned many a time.
my lungs are filled
from gulping the musty waters.
a dark cloud has patched the sun,
and i can find no light.
the waves shroud any possible light
from the east or west
as they toss and arch high over my head.
my clothes are soaked with the tears of misery
because i cannot find you.
a strange cold has come over me,
one that encapsulates the entire body,
makiing your entire figure jolt into a state
that is frigid, and seems like it will never pass.
Lord,
my hands are claws,
my posture is hunched,
my feet squirm
searching for the seabed
in this vast ocean of despair.
i mewl for strength
to continue,
i wail for your return,
bawling out your name,
like a stricken dog waiting for it's master.
i cringe and beg, tearing at my eyes,
wishing to destroy the source of my tears.
i plunge my fingers, deep into the cavities of my ears,
wishing to flush the devil's remarks from my mind.
my fingers are raw and bleed.
they no longer have definition since i have torn at my self in desperation.
Lord, in one word i am:
lonely
since i do not have you.
and "lonely" can suggest a lot of ideas and experiences.
Lord, i give out this cry of help because i can no longer lie to myself.
i can no longer stare at the black void that You once filled.
there is a gaping wound that won't heal and continues to bleed, Lord.
my heart grows cold and festers because i have not allowed You to mend it.
i have seared every vein that once extended from body into yours.
from that i have damaged many things
and many people...
Lord, a man does not stand on his own two feet.
a man stands on the feet of God and You lead him in a waltz.
like a father leading his young son or daughter
to the tune being played by the band.
as my young, tiny, and frail fingers grip yours Lord,
I wonder in amazement...
at your large and mighty hands
in comparison to my own.
the defeaning valiant boom,
that echoes from the stepping of your feet,
as you round the dance floor,
demands an absolute silence from the crowd.
I stare down at my feet as they ride yours.
I notice the complicated and tangled knot on my own right sneaker,
that i refer to as a proper tie, in my own words.
and then glance over to the simplistic and neat knot on my left sneaker,
the one You tied,
that drapes in a bow shape, delicately resting upon the sides of my shoe.
Lord, I stare up into Your deep and tender eyes,
as they reach down into my vision.
they speak loving and comforting words into mine.
the sound of which arouses my heart into a churning river.
Lord, a light has awakened in me.
and a tear dribbles from my eye
as the interaction between our gazes lengthens.
my mouth quivers,
because I can no longer hold back
the rejoicing cries which will resound from it!
GOD, OH LORD, Thank you for choosing me as your son!
I was without one to raise me to be a man.
I had no figure to look up to in order that I might model myself after them.
I had no dad to brag to all my friends, that he was the strongest man ever alive!
and could take on the whole lot of their dads if they tried to gang up on him.
I had no hero to hoist me upon his shoulders, imagining myself to be a giant
that could snatch up every tree as if it were a twig.
and, Lord, I had no father to tuck me in at night, who would stroke my hair
and then kiss me gently on the forehead,
assuring and comforting me that no monsters would visit me tonight.
and he was conveniently only one room over if I needed to run to him,
to find security in the middle of the night.
but, Lord, I found You.
so Lord,
tear down everything I've built.
snatch everything i hold, up from me.
tear away every article of clothing,
i use to cover the scars on my body.
and sink this boat i stand upon
to keep me afloat in these dark waters...
and Lord raise me to be a Man,
a man like you!
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| Lord, give me the strength, the will, the love, the compassion, the desire, and the courage to be a servant to others God. Let me place them before me in life. I thank you for everything you have placed in life under my care. HELP ME TO CHERISH EVERY PERSON IN MY LIFE FATHER! Especially the ones I should be an example to. I extol your name father, let my walk with you draw others to walk with you God. Let me see fit for this day, what you have placed before me. I will live it for you God, and not worry of tomorrow because tomorrow may never come. For today is now, and tomorrow I cannot control. Thank you Lord, Thank you Lord, Thank you Lord most high. Be with me in my thoughts, in my heart, in my mind, and my body let them be pure and a sacrifice to you dear God. Help me not to ridicule others, but to emerse them with the love you show me Lord. You forgive me so in turn I forgive my brothers and my sisters. And since you love me, in turn I LOVE my brothers and my sisters. Keep me safe Lord, and let me put others before me Lord. I love you and be with me continually. With you anything is possible.
In Christ's name,
Amen
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| Father, let me take this day and use it to your will. Rebuild your temple oh Lord and reclaim your children. You emerse us in your love and we are forever grateful. Unite all of your children to a single cause we love you. I love you, I love you, Lord. I am not strong and need you Lord. You are my strength and my life. You breathe every breath of life into my lungs, the very same breath you breathed into Adam. Let my steps echo your presence and your strength. Its a difficult road, God, but I trust you and place my faith in you. Comfort those who are in need of you, and comfort me! All of these concerns and all of these thoughts I pray to you God. I love you, Lord! Bless me and bless your children, Lord. Most High, Carrier of Strength, Source of Life, the GREAT CREATOR! I LOVE YOU!
In Your Son's Name,
Amen.
your son, Austin. | | |
| Take these hands of mine to build your kingdom. take this love of mine to evoke Your love. let my eyes see as Your eyes would. take my body and my heart and make it your temple, Oh Lord. awake your creation in me and others Lord. let us take you to embrace one another as your children should God. for you have awakened in our hearts a stiring, growing, and erupting love for you.! with this I pray for you to heal my weaknesses and my wounds, and for you to heal the weaknesses and wounds of others God. As your children we will grow strong THROUGH YOU! I LOVE YOU LORD!
Lord give me strength, give me love, give me hope, give me life, and Lord heal me with your love. Let your children see your glory, God!
With this I pray in your Son's Name,
Amen | | |
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